(1941 - 2010) My Beloved Daddy

Did not blog for few mths as I was back to work & was quite busy with work & family.

Just last mth, 15th Jan 2010, my dad passed away. It was a sudden blow to all of us.
He met with an accident on 10th Jan 2010, 11.14pm along Commonwealth Ave West & Clementi Ave 3. I got to knew abt it on 11th Jan morn, when Jesmine called me saying dad met & accident was paralysed and doc want to meet us to give our consent for the op. It was critical within the 24hr to perform the op and Doc claim dad current condition was suitable for op but there will be a 5% risk. They are going to do implant for him as he got severe neck & cervial injury. His neck injury causes him to be paralyse from neck downwards and he cervial spinal is being crushed very badly. We all agreed to let him go for op as we want to give him a chance hopefully to walk again. Even being wheel-chaired is also fine as long as theraphy, accupunture can help improve his condition. Bedridden is definitely a NO to my dad as he's one who like to walk, go coffee shop chat with friends, buy 4D, toto etc.

11th Jan 2010, Monday
Went in at 10.30am and finally out at 9pm. Op was successful but his face was all swollen, might be dued to op or the accident.

12 Jan 2010, Tuesday
Everything went well, he was on breathing tube and ICU doc says they planning to remove the tube for him later in the afternoon or maybe evening once he's more conscious. I was there early with Dennis, saw him open his eyes hence we went him to see him. He was only semi-conscious I guess. He keep using his tongue to push his breathing tube out, he make some sound like ee, ahh but he can't talk. I asked him to rest, don't push the tube out as it meant for him to breathe. He close his eyes shortly to rest. Can't bear to see him in such state, I went out of the ICU and cried.
Jesmine & Jye came shortly but he's still sleeping.

13 Jan 2010, Wednesday
Got 8 miss calls from Johnny and 2 from Dennis. My hand tremble, my heart was beating damn fast. I know bad news coming. Was informed Dad condition changes and ICU doc want to see us. Rushed down to the hospital, was told he developed pneumonia, doc suspect it might be dued to the breathing tube. Basically he was quite weak and bacteria & virus could go in thru the breathing tube. He was put on a stronger machine for the breathing tube and doc was saying if need to required to put a small breathing tube on his throat to help him breathe. Need to monitor and decide. We went outside, sitted on the visitor lounge and cried. So far Roy & Johnny have not visited him since his condition is not so good today, they came down to visit him. After they left, we decided to go Bugis Guangyin Temple to pray for his speedy recovery. When we were there for lunch, hospital called again. He got cardiac arrest, his heart stopped for 1-2 mins and they managed to rescue him back. Was told to be on 24hr standby in hospital and contactable at all times. I stayed till 8plus at night and Jye & Jesmine thruout the night.

14 Jan 2010, Thursday
Morning me & Dennis go to hospital to take over the shift so Jes & Jye can go home and rest. They came again in the afternoon. Doc did mention he was very ill now but so far did not have 2nd attack coz 2nd attack might easily take him away. Was very tired mentally & phyiscally, did not sleep & eat well everyday. I was so afraid of phone ringing when it comes to night time. We all went home on Thursday night and surprisely we all have a good sleep that night.

15 Jan 2010, Friday
Again, hosiptal called! He got the 2nd cardiac attack in 4am, once again, they saved him back. However doc claimed they are not optimistic abt his condition. His consider end of the road, he's basically rely on aiding machine to survive. Breathing tube helping him breathe, the max medi to help his heart pumping. Doc says he's dangerously ill, ask us go in and see him. My heart ache so much knowing he's really leaving us, I cried outside the ICU because I don't want to cry in front of him. We went in to see him and decided to call mum down. Jye went back to fetch her, me & Jes went to drink some coffee while waiting. Doc called again and want to speak to us. We went up, the ICU in-charge told us they will not give him more medi, instead will give whatever is required for him. If there's another cardiac attack, no more medi to be given as he's on max already which is 3. They will just try their best to save him. All these words make me cried again. The ICU doc pat on my shoulder. 4 of us went in to see him, we decided not to cry. We ask him to go peacefully and don't worry abt mum as we will take care of her. Don't worry about us as we got our hubby to take care. Ask him to go enjoy his life. His heart rate goes down within the next 5 mins. 39-37-35-27-25-22 ......... until 0 and the machine shows nothing, all went blank. At this instance, I don't know what I'm thinking just know he have had already left us peacefully with 4 of us, his dearest witnessing. Doc came in, checked his heartbeat & eye turned and told us his heart stopped. They will now removed all the aiding machine. We requested to see him again after they cleaned him. Curtains in the ICU room was drawn down, we were asked to leave .... We returned to take a look at him again, he was wrapped in white plastic bag, his head being covered. Dennis was there with us and he flip open the plastic on his head, we see his peaceful face. Speak to him again and shortly we leave, ICU ward 21, Bed 8. Police came over as my dad need to be sent to SGH for post mortem as he is classified under Unnatural death.

16th Jan - 19th Jan 2010
Manging his wake the next few days and sending him off. Standing at the coffin to see him, speak to him as I know I will not be able to see again except in my dreams, memories & photos.